Liberal projectile tears found to be the source of water on the moon

For hundreds of years, researchers and explorers have failed to find evidence of water on the Moon. But just recently presented the first unambiguous evidence of molecular water on Earth’s only satellite and have discovered the unusual source: projectile crying by liberals on Earth.

“We’ve found a lot of this salty water on the moon and its source was a mystery,” Dr. Obi Wan of the US Space Institute said. “That it until we saw some of the violent projectile crying the liberals have been doing the last couple years. Their tears have had such velocity that they have escaped Earth’s gravitational pull and made it all the way to the moon. It’s really amazing stuff.”

The discoveries, presented in separate studies in the journal Nature Astronomy, may have direct implications for future Moon missions.

“Not only do we know that we can transfer H2O to the Moon, but that another Trump victory would all but insure enough water on the Moon that we could terraform it completely and set up permanent residences there,” Wan said.

Liberal tears provide a great chemical makeup to provide for a rich botanical ecosystem on the Moon and the transfer means that global warming won’t be as devastating to low lying areas.

“Since trillions of gallons of tears have been transferred off the planet, that means rising sea levels won’t be as much of an issue, though that may cause more liberal tears. Eventually it could be a problem,” Wan added.


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