NUUK, GREENLAND—An idea whose time has come, former President Donald Trump announced his latest and greatest real estate venture: purchasing Greenland and Iceland, only to swap their names in what he describes as “the biggest deal of the century.”

“Yes, folks, it’s true. I’m buying Greenland because, let’s face it, Denmark was never going to give it to me for free. And once I’ve got it, I’ll rename it Iceland. Why? Because everyone knows Greenland should have been called Iceland from the start. Greenland is really icy. It’s the iciest,” Trump declared in a press conference, which was oddly held in front of a giant world map with labels already switched.

Critics have pointed out several logistical nightmares, like the confusion it would cause with international mail, travel, and not to mention, the sheer cost of rebranding two entire countries. “Imagine the bill for new passports, license plates, and road signs,” chuckled one anonymous source from within the real estate industry, who was clearly enjoying the absurdity of the situation.

The current Icelandic President, whose name we couldn’t confirm because, frankly, who can keep up with all these changes, responded with what many interpret as sarcasm, “Oh, fantastic. We’ve always wanted to be called Greenland. It’s much more… green, you know?”

Greenland’s Prime Minister, on the other hand, was reportedly seen looking at a map of the world, shaking his head, and muttering, “This is what we get for not having enough PR.”

Environmental groups are in an uproar, not just about the name change but also about Trump’s plans to “develop” these newly named territories. “With his track record, we’re expecting beaches on Greenland-Iceland by next summer and ski resorts on Iceland-Greenland. Because why not?” quipped an environmental activist, rolling her eyes so hard they might just roll right into the next century.

Economists are skeptical, with one stating, “This might be the only deal where you can actually lose money by flipping the property. But hey, if anyone can do it, it’s Donald Trump.”

As for the residents of both countries, there’s a mix of confusion, amusement, and a growing petition to make “The Great Name Swap” an international holiday, just so they can have a day off to laugh about it.

In other news, the world’s mapmakers are reportedly considering early retirement or a career change to something less chaotic, like herding cats or predicting the stock market.

Stay tuned for more updates on this ludicrous land swap. Because if there’s one thing we’ve learned, it’s that in Trump’s world, anything can happen.

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