US—Citizens across the US proposed new lockdown measures in the face of the scary-sounding Omicron coronavirus variant.

“It’s pretty clear what we need to do get rid of the Omicron variant,” Pittsburg resident Jerry Jabba said. “We need to completely lockdown Anthony Fauci and all the fear-mongering media outlets.”

Experts say that locking down Fauci and CNN will eliminate 99% of the Omicron variant from society.

CNN has declared that it’s no longer racist to restrict travel from various countries, but a majority of people understand that the move is just theater.

Fauci says that he should given a raise and not thrown in jail. “I’ve been right about everything with regard to SARS-CoV-2,” Fauci said in an exclusive interview with Genesius Times. “Granted, I’m usually right after being 100% wrong, but I always get it right eventually!”

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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