Biden appears on ‘The View’ and finally becomes smartest guy in the room
NEW YORK—After nearly 3 ½ years as president and over 50 years in public office, President* Joe Biden has finally...
Politics
BREAKING: Personalized Coke Machine at White House Now Dispenses Actual Dime Bags with Hunter Biden’s Name on Them
WASHINGTON, DC—In an effort to avoid future confusion and streamline the investigative process, the White House has unveiled a state-of-the-art...
BREAKING: P. Diddy launches ‘Pedophiles for Harris’ group from jail
In a move that’s raising eyebrows across the political spectrum, music mogul Sean “P Diddy” Combs has officially launched a...
BREAKING: Merrick Garland offers to match Ryan Routh’s $150,000 bounty for whoever can ‘finish the job’ on Trump
WAHINGTON, DC—In a jaw-dropping escalation of governmental ingenuity, the Department of Justice, under Attorney General Merrick Garland, has reportedly decided...
BREAKING: Republican Mike Johnson early favorite to win “Democrat of the Year” for 2024
In an unexpected twist, Republican Speaker of the House Mike Johnson is being hailed as the early frontrunner for the...
Terrified terrorists now using soup cans with string for communications
In a bizarre twist of events, international terrorist groups have traded in their encrypted messaging apps and advanced technology for...
Oprah Winfrey hosts Harvey Wienstein reunion party in support of Kamala Harris
HOLLYWOOD HILLS — Oprah Winfrey, queen of daytime television and undisputed gatekeeper of celebrity culture, has outdone herself once again...
BREAKING: Gavin Newsom Signs Bill Making It Illegal for Anyone in California to Talk Except Him
SACRAMENTO, CA – In a bold legislative move that has left political analysts, constitutional scholars, and anyone with a mouth...
Guinness World Records awards Mossad for ‘Most Vasectomies at One Time’ surpassing 2024 Democratic Convention
In a ceremony filled with pomp and, ironically, very little circumstance, Guinness World Records awarded the Israeli Mossad the coveted...
Trump is literally trying to steal our democracy by not dying in his assassination attempts
The real tragedy of our time isn’t the soaring inflation, crumbling infrastructure, or the total collapse of bipartisan cooperation—no, the...
