Ilhan Omar Pleads the Fifth 113 Times on Whether Her Husband Is Her Brother 
Clever Wife Finds Twentieth New Place to Hide the Car Keys This Month 
Louvre Hosts Open House for Looters; “Girl with the Suicidal Empathy” Left Untouched 
Netanyahu Demands 2-State Solution for France Following Unrest 
Macron: “It’s Not a Riot If It’s Not From France’s Riôt Region. This Is Just Sparkling Social Discontent” 
Ilhan Omar Pleads the Fifth 113 Times on Whether Her Husband Is Her Brother
WASHINGTON — Rep. Ilhan Omar invoked her Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination 113 times on Wednesday when asked whether her...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Clever Wife Finds Twentieth New Place to Hide the Car Keys This Month
A local woman has located a new spot for the car keys, marking the twentieth such discovery this month. The...
Louvre Hosts Open House for Looters; “Girl with the Suicidal Empathy” Left Untouched
PARIS — The Louvre Museum held an open house for looters on Tuesday. Attendees removed objects from multiple galleries. The...
Netanyahu Demands 2-State Solution for France Following Unrest
JERUSALEM — Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said Tuesday that France should adopt a two-state solution following several nights of...
Macron: “It’s Not a Riot If It’s Not From France’s Riôt Region. This Is Just Sparkling Social Discontent”
PARIS — President Emmanuel Macron said Monday that recent disturbances in several French cities do not qualify as riots, because...
Trump Taps Sydney Sweeney as New Press Secretary, Pledges “Nothing but Policy”
WASHINGTON — President Trump announced that actress Sydney Sweeney will serve as White House Press Secretary. In her first briefing,...
Left-Wingers Hold Massive Campaign Rallies for Right-Wing Party All Around France
PARIS — In what political analysts are calling one of the most effective grassroots operations of the 2027 campaign cycle,...
QUIZ: What Caused This—Nuclear Explosion or Diversity? (France Edition)
France is on fire again. City halls in flames, streets littered with burned cars, looted shops, and the usual “youths”...
Angry French Students Loot Louis Vuitton in Search of More Teachers and Better Schools, Find Neither
PARIS — A group of French students entered a Louis Vuitton store on the Champs-Élysées yesterday and began removing merchandise,...
Immigrants Issue Heartfelt Thanks to France for Its Inclusivity by Burning It to the Ground
PARIS — In what officials are calling a powerful testament to successful integration, large groups of recent arrivals have begun...