Trump Orders All Israel Pride Flags to Be Flown at Half-Mast in Honor of Lindsey Graham’s Passing 
BREAKING: Lindsey Graham Dies After Accidentally Uttering the Word “Peace” 
Travis Kelce Announces Pregnancy Just Days after Marrying Taylor Swift 
Sneak Peak of The Odyssey with Samuel L. Jackson as Helen of Troy 
Senate Republicans Report McConnell ‘Fully Engaged,’ ‘Eager to Return’ 
Trump Orders All Israel Pride Flags to Be Flown at Half-Mast in Honor of Lindsey Graham’s Passing
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump signed an executive order Monday directing that all Israel Pride flags on federal property be...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Lindsey Graham Dies After Accidentally Uttering the Word “Peace”
WASHINGTON — Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC), 71, a steadfast advocate for robust American engagement abroad, died Saturday evening after what...
Travis Kelce Announces Pregnancy Just Days after Marrying Taylor Swift
NEW YORK—Travis Kelce, the Kansas City Chiefs tight end, confirmed Friday that he is expecting his first child with Taylor...
Sneak Peak of The Odyssey with Samuel L. Jackson as Helen of Troy
LOS ANGELES — In what studio executives are calling “a daring subversion of Western literature,” Warner Bros. has confirmed that...
Senate Republicans Report McConnell ‘Fully Engaged,’ ‘Eager to Return’
In a development that surprised no one familiar with modern American politics, Senate Majority Leader John Thune (R-SD) and longtime...
Mitch McConnell Gives 17-Minute Press Conference From Hospital; Pledges No on SAVE Act
WASHINGTON — Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) held a 17-minute press conference Tuesday, using the occasion to voice strong...
Graham Platner Comes Out as Muslim Transwoman; All Allegations Immediately Dropped
WASHINGTON — Graham Platner, who converted to Islam earlier Tuesday and saw all pending legal cases against him dismissed, announced...
U.S. Ties Belgium 4-4 in World Cup Knock Out After 3 a.m. Goal Dump from California
In a match that officials described as "still very much ongoing," the United States salvaged a stunning 4-4 draw against...
BREAKING: Mitch McConnell Confirmed Brain Dead, So Nothing New
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Doctors at a Washington hospital confirmed Tuesday that Senator Mitch McConnell is clinically brain dead, prompting a...
Marco Rubio Tapped as Lone Referee for U.S.-Belgium World Cup Match
SEATTLE — FIFA officials announced Monday that U.S. Secretary of State Marco Rubio will serve as the sole referee for...