BREAKING: Local Farmer Alleges Ed Gallrein Barbecued Bald Eagle at Secret Ceremony 
BREAKING: Cow Claims Thomas Massie Offered Her $5k in ‘Cow Money’ to Hide His Popeyes Love 
Groundbreaking AI Study Resolves MJ vs. LeBron GOAT Debate with Empirical Simulation 
AOC: Republicans are trying to rig elections by only allowing US citizens to vote 
Trump Deploys Maintenance Crew to Correct Glaring Typo 
BREAKING: Local Farmer Alleges Ed Gallrein Barbecued Bald Eagle at Secret Ceremony
BOONE COUNTY, Ky. — A local farmer has come forward with explosive allegations that Republican congressional candidate Ed Gallrein, who...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Cow Claims Thomas Massie Offered Her $5k in ‘Cow Money’ to Hide His Popeyes Love
WASHINGTON — A veteran Chick-fil-A spokes-cow has leveled explosive new allegations against Thomas Massie, claiming the congressman not only carried...
Groundbreaking AI Study Resolves MJ vs. LeBron GOAT Debate with Empirical Simulation
Abstract Researchers at the Institute for Objective Athletic Evaluation uploaded every available statistic, play-by-play log, game film, and biomechanical dataset...
AOC: Republicans are trying to rig elections by only allowing US citizens to vote
In a blatant attempt to rig our elections and silence the voices that truly built this nation, Republicans are once...
Trump Deploys Maintenance Crew to Correct Glaring Typo
WASHINGTON — In a decisive show of executive efficiency, Donald Trump has ordered a specialized federal maintenance team to address...
Fauci Admits Lab Creation of Coronavirus in Bats, ‘But Would Totes Never Do the Same with Rats’
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Anthony Fauci announced Tuesday that, with the statute of limitations now expired on his prior testimony before...
BREAKING: Skydiver Who Forgot Parachute Dies from Hantavirus
SKY VALLEY, CO — Local authorities confirmed Tuesday that 34-year-old skydiver Derek Harlan plummeted 12,500 feet to his death after...
BREAKING: Hantavirus Kills Two in Meth Lab Explosion
BAKERSFIELD, CA — Health officials confirmed Wednesday that hantavirus was responsible for the deaths of two individuals following an apparent...
Happy binary cisgendered birthing person day if that’s how you identify
I don't know who needs to hear this, but mothers do not exist per say. My three doctorates in various...
Evangelicals Finally Find a Graven Image They Can Worship
DORAL, FL — After centuries of staunchly opposing the veneration of religious statues — including centuries of criticism directed at...