WASHINGTON, DC—As people around the country are worried about a divided government, Congress has done the unbelievable. All 435 members voted to have AOC wear a dunce cap for all committee hearings. The shocking results included a vote from AOC. “I agree with this mandate. When I was approached by my peers with the idea, at first i had reservations. But when they explained it was a special hat and what the word dunce stood for:

D. Democrat

U. Unbelievable

N. Nervy

C. Cute

E. Energetic

It was a no-brainer and I believe the dunce cap encapsulates the truest picture of my time in Congress.”

House Speaker Johnson was pleased with the cooperation from both parties. “It’s all about optics. When these hearings are televised, the audience needs to be aware of her incompetence. So the dunce cap makes it a lot easier for the audience.”

Eric Swallwell loved the legislation and has proposed that he should be required to wear a kimono.

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