ALTA VISTA, FL—Disney has renamed Main Street USA George Floyd Boulevard and declared the surrounding area a communist autonomous zone complete with looting, rape, and murder.
The change stemmed from a promotional deal with Colin Kaepernick who is globally know for demanding social justice (except for in China, Cuba, and Venezuela).
One of the first things on the agenda was a meeting between Colin and the theme park managers. The goal was to pull out by the root the most racist and offensive area by closely examining the themes of all four of Disney’s Florida theme parks.
The choice for change was clear. The biggest problem was in the Magic Kingdom theme park. And the change to be made next month will be changing both the name and the experience of Main Street. This is the large thoroughfare that all visitors walk along after entering the Park. It will be renamed George Floyd Blvd. Along with the renaming all the building facades will be changed to better reflect an inner city run by Democrats and taken over by communists.
And that’s not the end of these fantastic changes. The various Mickey Mouse themed parades will all end and be replaced by more realistic and non racist parades. There will be floats with blaring rap music and Disney cast members dressed up as Antifa members. They will kid around with the kiddies by firing guns loaded with blanks to entertain the crowds. The second already choreographed parade will again feature social justice warriors chasing police down the street and throwing garbage cans (actually made of foam) at them.
Jimmy one of the cast members interviewed about the changes said, “I think this is fantastic. We want kids to come here and have a good time. But it is also important to teach them not to be racists and introducing them to an inner city landscape which most have never experienced. So we will both entertain and educate with this important changes”