n a breaking and bizarre development, rumors are swirling that Vice President Kamala Harris was recently spotted tumbling out of a coconut tree. While the Vice President’s office has yet to confirm or deny the incident, an anonymous source has indicated, “No coconuts were harmed, and her smile was as wide as ever.”

Eyewitnesses describe the VP scaling a tall palm on what was supposed to be a “casual, no-press” wellness retreat. One onlooker reported hearing Harris exclaim, “I’m finally on top of things!” just before a loud thud and a quick disappearance into the bushes below. Speculation over whether this was a training exercise to boost poll numbers in tropical regions is still unconfirmed.

Reporters were later informed that Harris’ footwear—recently showcased in a TikTok video—played a role in the unfortunate descent. “We knew platform heels were the ultimate power move, but nobody expected her to take them up a coconut tree,” one source remarked.

So, did Kamala Harris really fall out of a coconut tree? Well, in Washington, anything is possible—especially when it’s a slow news day.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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