Feminist gives inspiring testimonial after watching video of black widow eating its mate

The crowd went wild. I was there. The room was electric. The 33rd annual gathering of ‘Women Against the Patriarchy’ started with an inspiring video of a black widow enjoying a post-coital meal by devouring her mate.

The video was so inspiring, in fact, that Jessica Jones felt moved by Mother Gaia to stand up and offer her testimony against the patriarchy.

“I can only hope one day I will be as empowered as the black widow. The day will come when we fully shed the social constructs that forbid us the Mother Gaia given right to eat all men as we so desperately desire.”

The crowd went wild after her testimony. Chants of ‘Down with the patriarchy!’ could be heard miles away. If you are a total backwoods anti-woman man, unlike me, you should be afraid. They are coming to eat you bigot.

Girl Power.