In a move that has sent shockwaves through the satirical news community, the editorial board of Genesius Times, the internet’s premier purveyor of biting political parody, has officially thrown its weight behind a hypothetical 2028 presidential ticket featuring Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) and Rep. Jasmine Crockett (D-TX). The endorsement, announced in a press release titled “AOC-Crockett 2028: The Satire We Deserve,” cites the duo’s unparalleled potential to provide endless material for humorists, meme lords, and late-night comedians alike.

“It’s a no-brainer,” said Genesius Times Editor-in-Chief, Chuckles McSavage, while sipping a suspiciously large mug of coffee labeled ‘Tears of the Overly Serious.’ “AOC and Crockett together? That’s a satire factory on steroids. We’re talking about two of the most memeable figures in politics joining forces to create a perfect storm of absurdity. Our writers are already salivating over the possibilities.”

The endorsement comes as no surprise to longtime readers of Genesius Times, a publication known for its unapologetic skewering of political figures across the spectrum. AOC, often caricatured for her dramatic flair and viral soundbites, and Crockett, whose razor-sharp clapbacks have made her a social media darling, are seen as a dream team for satire enthusiasts. The editorial board highlighted several key reasons for their enthusiastic support.

Reason 1: The Soundbites Write Themselves

AOC’s history of viral moments—like her infamous “tax the rich” Met Gala dress and her impassioned speeches about the Green New Deal—has long been a gift to satirists. Add Crockett’s fiery rhetorical style, best exemplified by her viral House floor takedowns, and you’ve got a ticket that could single-handedly keep X’s meme economy afloat. “Imagine AOC proposing a nationwide ban on billionaires while Crockett calls them out for ‘acting unwise’ in a press conference,” McSavage mused. “We’d have enough content to last us through 2032.”

Reason 2: The Fashion Factor

The editorial board also pointed to the duo’s potential to dominate headlines with their sartorial choices. AOC’s Met Gala stunt already sparked a thousand memes, and Crockett’s bold style—think power suits and statement accessories like her 2-ton eyelash extensions—has made her a fashion icon in her own right. “We’re envisioning a campaign trail filled with outfits that scream ‘I’m here to slay,’” the press release read. “Think Crockett in a sequined blazer debating tax policy, or AOC in a ‘Tax the Patriarchy’ pantsuit. The Photoshop possibilities are endless.”

Reason 3: The Chaos Energy

Perhaps the most compelling reason for the endorsement is what Genesius Times calls “the chaos energy” of an AOC-Crockett ticket. Between AOC’s knack for stirring the pot on progressive policy and Crockett’s no-holds-barred approach to calling out opponents, the ticket promises a level of political theater that satirists can only dream of. “These two would turn every debate into a reality TV showdown,” McSavage said. “We’re talking soundbites, viral clapbacks, and probably a few dance breaks. It’s the kind of raw material that makes our jobs embarrassingly easy.”

Not everyone is thrilled, however. Some conservative commentators have accused Genesius Times of “playing favorites,” while a few progressive activists have called the endorsement “reductive.” McSavage dismissed the criticism with a shrug. “We’re not here to make friends—we’re here to make people laugh. If you can’t handle a little satire, maybe politics isn’t your game.”

As for the likelihood of an actual AOC-Crockett 2028 ticket, political analysts are skeptical. AOC, who will be 39 in 2028, has repeatedly downplayed presidential ambitions, focusing instead on her role in Congress. Crockett, meanwhile, is still building her national profile. But Genesius Times remains undeterred. “We’re not saying it’s going to happen,” McSavage clarified. “We’re just saying it should happen—for the sake of comedy.”

In the meantime, the satirical news outlet has already begun brainstorming headlines for their hypothetical coverage of the AOC-Crockett campaign. Favorites include “AOC Proposes Free Avocado Toast for All, Crockett Suggests Adding Hot Sauce” and “Crockett Shuts Down GOP Opponent with ‘Bless Your Heart,’ AOC Finishes Him with a TikTok Dance.”

For now, the satire world waits with bated breath, hoping that 2028 will deliver the AOC-Crockett ticket they so desperately crave. As McSavage put it, “This isn’t just an endorsement—it’s a prayer. Let’s make politics funny again.”

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