Kamala Harris, in a completely original move, descends escalator to announce bold and original policy to build a border wall
Washington, D.C. – In what is being hailed as a groundbreaking moment in American politics, Vice President Kamala Harris unveiled her bold new border policy this week by making a grand entrance that no one could have seen coming: descending down an escalator.
The event, held at a glitzy shopping mall in suburban Virginia, was touted as a major policy announcement. But the real showstopper was Harris’s dramatic descent from the second floor of Macy’s, where she waved to a crowd of carefully selected supporters as she slowly descended to the ground floor.
“I’m here today to announce a truly original and visionary plan,” Harris began, as she reached the bottom of the escalator. “We’re going to build a big, beautiful wall along the southern border. It’s going to be the greatest wall you’ve ever seen, and it’s going to keep everyone safe. Trust me, this is an idea like no other.”
Harris, who has been tasked by President Biden with overseeing the nation’s border security, described her wall as a “revolutionary solution” to the complex issue of immigration. “This is the kind of out-of-the-box thinking that only I can bring to the table,” she said, without a hint of irony.
The Vice President’s team was quick to emphasize that Harris’s border wall proposal was entirely her own, with no influence from any past political figures. “This is a Kamala original,” said one campaign aide. “We’re not copying anyone. In fact, I’m pretty sure no one has ever thought of this before.”
As part of the rollout, Harris’s campaign launched the slogan, “Build Back Better… with a Wall!” T-shirts, hats, and bumper stickers featuring the phrase quickly sold out at the event, where enthusiastic supporters praised Harris for her “innovative” approach to securing the border.
“I love it! A wall—who would’ve thought of that?” said one attendee, sporting a “Kamala 2024” hat. “This is the kind of leadership we need—a fresh perspective on old problems.”
Critics, however, were less impressed. Some noted the striking similarities between Harris’s announcement and a certain real estate mogul’s infamous 2015 campaign launch.
“I mean, come on,” said one political analyst. “We all know where this is coming from. But hey, maybe imitation really is the sincerest form of flattery.”
When pressed by reporters on the apparent lack of originality, Harris remained unfazed. “Look, folks, I’ve always said that we need to think outside the box,” she said with a smile. “And if that means borrowing a few ideas from others, then so be it. After all, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it—just make it bigger and better.”
The announcement marks a new chapter in Harris’s political career, as she attempts to position herself as a tough-on-immigration candidate heading into 2024. Her campaign is already planning a series of rallies across the country, where she will continue to champion her wall idea, alongside other “innovative” policies like tax cuts for tips and bringing jobs back to America.
As she left the event, Harris made a final appeal to her supporters. “Let’s get out there and build that wall, folks. And remember, this is a Kamala original—no one else could have thought of it!” she declared, before being whisked away in a motorcade that, coincidentally, made a quick stop at a Trump-branded hotel.
Whether or not Harris’s escalator moment will go down in history remains to be seen, but one thing is clear: in the world of politics, originality is all about who gets there last.
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