Mark Cuban ends discriminatory hiring at Dallas Mavericks; signs 4’3″ powerhouse Wei Wu as Center
DALLAS—In a groundbreaking move towards diversity and inclusion, Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban has declared war on discriminatory hiring practices within the NBA. His weapon of choice? Signing 4’3″ Asian sensation Wei Wu as the team’s new center.
In a press conference that left sports analysts scratching their heads, Cuban proudly announced, “We’re tearing down the height barrier, the gender barrier, and any other barrier that stands in the way of true basketball talent. Wei Wu is not just a center; she’s a symbol of breaking free from the oppressive shackles of heightism.”
Wei Wu, hailing from the mythical land of Underdogia, is known for her lightning-fast moves and impeccable ball-handling skills. However, skeptics argue that her diminutive stature may present some challenges when facing off against the towering giants of the NBA.
“Height is just a number,” Cuban retorted, holding a measuring tape for dramatic effect. “We’ve seen the ‘Muggsy Bogues Effect’ before. Wei is a dynamo on the court, and we’re here to prove that great things come in small packages.”
The move has drawn mixed reactions from fans and players alike. While some applaud Cuban’s commitment to breaking basketball norms, others question the practicality of having a center who needs a step ladder to high-five her teammates.
In a bid to address concerns about matchups against taller opponents, the Mavericks’ coaching staff has reportedly devised innovative strategies, including the implementation of trampolines strategically placed near the basket and an “under the legs” passing technique that Wu has mastered.
“Prepare to witness basketball like you’ve never seen before,” Cuban declared with a mischievous grin. “We’re ushering in a new era, and it starts with Wei Wu as our unstoppable, gravity-defying center.”
As the basketball world braces for this audacious experiment, one thing is certain—Mark Cuban is determined to prove that in the Mavericks’ playbook, height is nothing but a mere footnote in the grand slam of diversity and inclusion.
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