WASHINGTON, DC—House Minority leader Mitch McConnell said he is outraged about President* Joe Biden’s student loan forgiveness, which he announced yesterday.
“I am livid and the unfairness of it all. That’s $300 Billion we could have sent to Ukraine!” McConnell said, visibly shaken.
Biden assured McConnell that there was plenty more American taxpayer dollars to waste on Ukraine.
“Mitch needs to take a chill pill,” Biden said. “Just because we’re going to make hard-working American taxpayers pay for ridiculously overpriced Gender Studies doctorates of Starbucks employees, doesn’t mean we can’t make hard-working American taxpayers pay corruption in Ukraine.”
McConnell was not impressed with Biden’s assurances and said he would hold a committee hearing to see if he should write a sternly-worded letter to condemn the act.
Following the press conference, McConnell has retreated into his shell and refused to come out until the midterms.