‘Medal Of Freedom For Capt. Kirk?, He’s Not Even Real Person’ Says Joe Biden
WASHINGTON, DC—Democrats were furious Charlie Kirk was awarded the Congressional Medal of Freedom. It was so upsetting, MSNBC refused to show it. Not to be outdone, former *President Biden released a blistering video accusing President Trump of suffering from dementia. “How can a guy be the leader of the free world and not know that Captain Kirk isn’t even a real person, he’s the captain of the Star Trek Enterprise, for God’s sake. Where is the dignity?” Biden said before trailing off.
“He was such a great captain. I’m just so sad that Jill hid my pointy ears so I can show what a huge fan of his I was.” Said the former *President. The confused former *President then went on to explain his years of being a “Treckie”. Biden said, “I loved when he would say he was from Ork. He was a pure comedic genius– Nanu-Nanu.” As Biden began to confuse Star Trek with Mork And Mindy, *Dr. Jill intervened and stopped the video.
*Dr. Jill praised the former *Presidents heartfelt tribute by saying, “Good job, Joe, you hit all the right talking points.” As she handed him an ice cream cone, before wheeling him away to change a dirty diaper. “Now it’s nap-nap time.” Said the esteemed *Doctor.
Viewers of the viral video were left stunned, though not entirely surprised. “It’s classic Joe,” said one X user, @TrekFan42069. “One minute he’s dunking on Trump, the next he’s beaming up to Planet Mork. Iconic, honestly.” Another user, @PatriotKirkStan, fired back, “Biden’s out here confusing Charlie Kirk with a fictional space captain while Trump’s honoring real patriots. Who’s got dementia now?”
The White House declined to comment on whether Trump had, in fact, mistaken Charlie Kirk for a Starfleet officer. Meanwhile, Biden’s team is reportedly planning a follow-up video to clarify his stance on Star Wars’ Darth Vader, whom he allegedly believes is “a great guy, just misunderstood.”
As the nation processes this latest political warp-speed gaffe, one thing is clear: in the battle for dignity, both sides are light-years from victory.
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