Millennials unsure how to pay off student debt but certain about how to run the US economy

Millions of Millennials and the younger “Generation Z” have graduated college and graduate school with upwards of hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt. Most of them are not sure how to pay off this debt, especially with their choice of degree, which many times have left them completely useless in the marketplace.

Despite this, most of this demographic—self-professed democratic socialists—know exactly how the US economy should be run. The US economy is the largest in the world and has a gross domestic product of nearly $20 trillion.

“I can’t pay my monthly phone bill,” Vivien Walker, recent graduate of Loyola Chicago said, “but I know exactly how to run the federal budget. The government needs to first address the needs of its constituents and make all phone services free.”

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez could be seen as the posterchild of this movement. After being elected to Congress, she was unsure how she was going to pay the rent in Washington DC. Yet she is absolutely certain that socialist policies would keep the economy afloat.

“It’s pretty simple,” Ocasio-Cortez said, “we young people won’t have to worry about finances if all the rich old white men pay for us. There should be a 70% tax on rich people so we don’t have to learn economics.”

“No one ever told me how to adult,” Tucker Lufkin of San Francisco said laughing. “I don’t know how to change a tire; I’ve never used bill pay; and I don’t really have any skills to compete in the workforce. And yeah, I think Bernie would make an excellent president. We need democratic socialism to make me a useful member of society.”