New York Assembly to install Aztec-like altar for all child sacrifices to take place

A problem arose after the New York legislature passed a new abortion bill and Governor Andrew Cuomo signed it into law allowing abortion up to the point of birth and even allowing physicians to let children die after birth. Where was all this child sacrifice going to take place?

“We had a logistical problem,” Felicity Feces said of the bill, “but we’ve come together in a bipartisan manner and have agreed to install an Aztec-like altar to perform all the child sacrifices on.”

Some Assembly members were skeptical of the remodeling.

“I don’t really mind the blood from all the innocent babies staining everything but we just don’t have room in the assembly,” Assemblyman Dee Prave Jr. said.

“Why not put it in the Governor’s mansion?” he asked.

The new altar will be positioned in the middle of the room so that it will be front and center whenever it’s needed and will be accompanied by a fire pit and a statue of the false bullgod of Convenience.

“Thankfully, the bill allows non-doctors to perform the human sacrifices, so we will have shamans and even some assembly members killing the babies up there.”

The Aztec Heritage Society has sued the Assembly for cultural appropriation. According to a spokesperson, the government’s child sacrifice amounts to a copyright infringement on the barbaric Aztec culture and needs to be stopped.


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