BREAKING: NYC celebrates Hochul election by shoving 329 more people onto subway tracks
NEW YORK—New York Gov. Kathy Hochul is projected to win the state’s gubernatorial race, and New York is celebrating in only a way...
murder
Dolphins wide receiver Hubris Jackson suspended for 2 preseason games for murdering his ex-wife
MIAMI—Dolphins wide receiver Hubris Jackson was suspended for 2 preseason games for murdering his ex-wife and two other people in...
Facebook officially changes its name to Fascebook
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—To better align with its core principles, social media giant Facebook is changing its name to Fascebook. Users...
BREAKING: US Constitution dead at 233
UNITED STATES—Media reports confirm that shortly after Joe Biden was sworn in as president, the Constitution of the United States...
BREAKING: Twitter CEO caught shooting messenger pigeons sent by the Trump Team
NEW YORK--Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey was caught shooting messenger pigeons being send by the Trump Team at Trump Tower. The...
Mayor Lightfoot assures us all 300 killed this year in Chicago will be able to vote by mail in November
Another 125 people were shot in Chicago over the weekend with 18 more dying. Mayor Lori Lightfoot says that people...
Coronavirus finally defends itself: ‘Killing people is only 3% of what I do’
In a surprise press conference, the notorious Coronavirus, which has causes so much death and destruction over the course of...
Local abortionist laughs at recent mass shooter’s ‘rookie numbers’
Stanley Alberts, the #1 abortionist at the Columbus, Ohio Women’s Clinic has some advice for the most recent mass shooters....
Epstein prison guards thought ‘suicide watch’ meant watching him commit suicide
Jeffrey Epstein has been suicided in a Manhattan Correctional Center in Manhattan at roughly 7:30. After a failed suicide attempt...
Baltimore sends 15 murdered youths to the border so that Democrats will notice them
Baltimore residents sent 15 youths murdered there the past week to the border so that their Democratic city council and...
