The ever popular presidential candidate Barack Obama, with his clean-cut appearance, his sordid past, and flaming liberal politics, has been a favorite among young Americans. Unfortunately, Obama has only been available in a chocolate-vanilla mix.

Now, the same people who brought you Obama have introduced a pure vanilla Obama—what they’re calling “Beto”.

He’s just as clean-cut with a sordid past and his politics are just as bad. He also comes with an added phony Horchata flavor. Everyone who is unfamiliar with Mexican culture will think it’s authentic!

This new version of Obama is sure to bring in lots of money and votes for the manufacturer DNC.

“He has the same lovable, hokey personality of Obama with the same violently catastrophic political philosophy. It’s great!” One fan said.

For people who just don’t like the taste of chocolate, this pure vanilla candidate will be a life-long favorite.

A blind taste test confirmed the enjoyment.

“He sounds exactly like Obama! I can’t wait to try it!” Priscilla Jones of Newbury, Connecticut said. “I thought we’d never see anything like Obama again, but I was wrong, thank God!”

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Exavier Saskagoochie

Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He’s really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!

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