Pentagon replaces go-to torture waterboarding with endless video of Adam Schiff speeches

The Pentagon has replaced their former go-to torture method, waterboarding, with endless video recordings of Representative Adam Schiff speeches.

The move comes as the Department of Defense looks to get tougher on terrorism with this no-holds-barred approach.

Studies have shown that watching Adam Schiff drone on and on, mainly about President Trump, is the most feared activity for 96 percent of the world population. This beats out electrical shocks, forcing the victim to walk over a field of Legos, and Chinese fingernail torture.

The CIA will also move to the more effective Schiff video torture at its black sites around the globe.

Critics have noted that this form of torture is condemned by the Geneva Convention.

The general population have been accidentally subjected to several hours of torture through the impeachment hearings, which The House of Representatives has apologized for.

“I could handle maybe five minutes of the guy, but endless loops of him saying the same thing over and over again? I would absolutely lose my mind,” one analyst said.


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