Princeton replaces racist Woodrow Wilson with Wilson the Volleyball

Revisionist history seems to have caught on recently. Even good old Woodrow Wilson has been caught in the downdraft. Of course we all know he was responsible for enslaving all the African Americans from around 1630-2020. And yes, as hard as it is to believe, he lived to the ripe old age of 390 which seems pretty obvious from the picture above. How you may ask? Playing soccer of course.

Harvard will be changing its name after hundreds of years. Why? GT has uncovered the irrefutable fact that Waldo Harvard once saw a picture of a slave. Well, actually he heard of someone who heard of someone who saw a picture of a slave. The new name for Harvard will be Whitesuck University.

Below we see the disgraceful picture of Eliyahooooooo Yale. He’s the guy in the middle and invented Yahoo. First off we must note this picture must have been taken during a pandemic. Just look at their hair. All the local barber shops must have been shut down and boy do these guys need a good cut. Now if you look very carefully we see a Black slave child in the lower right corner serving wine. Game over. Yale will now be named Blackmore University and exclusively admit Black High Schoolers with reading and writing disabilities on par with 3rd graders, much the same as it is today.

We believe the only sensible thing to do is to name every school in America “The School of Institutionalized Racism”. They will exclusively teach courses in Black Transgenderism, use Affirmative Action to the fullest extent possible and allow 24 hour drive-thru Cannabis Dispensaries right there for all to use since they are institutions of Higher learning.

Naturally, Brown University will remain as is.