Shaun King demands removal of any image of Jesus that looks as white as he does

NEW YORK—Black Lives Matter activist and part-time freelance clown, Shaun King, has called for the removal of all statues and paintings that depict Jesus as having white skin like he has.

“If the Jesus is a shade lighter than me, then he’s white and must be removed,” King, who goes by the pseudonyms Talcum X, Stevie Wonderbread, and sometimes Snow-J Simpson, tweeted. “If the Jesus is my shade or darker, then he’s black, like me.”

Efforts to tear down the paintings and statues were stalled when the vandals realized that, in all of the pictures, Jesus’ skin was in fact darker than Shaun King’s.

“Everything that is white is based in white supremacy,” King tweeted. “Including my own lily white behind, evidently.”

King has since spontaneously combusted due to his self-contradictory nonsense.