Klingon Lives Matter feel as if their movement is being overshadowed by Black Lives Matter and ignored after the death of beloved Worf.
“We’re basically like black lives except we’re uglier and have all these funky grooves on our foreheads,” Klingon Konmel said. “So, we matter too—probably even more.”
The Klingon Lives Matter (herein referred to as KLM) movement and website was also founded by and financially supported by George Soros, with his business partner Rick Berman. Soros maintains his position that KLM is not nor never will be, a satire of BLM.
“At first it was hard to get the rights to launch a new woke movement like KLM,” said Soros, “The government would not allow it. However, a few strategically planted protestors and a few extra campaign funds and, any politician will buckle!”
We interviewed one of the KLM protestors who wished to remain anonymous and he had this to say.
“Yes, I went to one of his protests and caused trouble, then he paid me. I’m a recent college graduate with two kids and I’m out of work, of course I took the job!”
All KLM protestors strive to be peaceful, law-abiding protestors and go through hours and hours of rigorous training. The training includes: shouting lessons, picketing lessons, hiding a sword behind a picketing sign, Molotov cocktail launching, anti-tear gas resistance, inciting a mob, stamp collecting, and fighting fascism with fascist style tactics all while claiming to be anti-fascist.
The cause of peace is tough.
We contacted a spokesperson for KLM for comment who uses the pseudonym Chancellor Remaul. The Chancellor had this to say: “I’m glad our movement has gained momentum, both in the States and around the globe. Someday our people will convince others that the lives of Klingons matter more than those of other races. And we will end racism in America by getting every white police officer fired. To those who want to contribute to our cause, feel free to visit the website to donate. Our funding goes through the same company that raises money for the democratic party but, you should ignore that.”
In order to give our readers a more honest perspective of the KLM movement in America, we considered interview a white person who is married to a Klingon but decided to follow the examples of other news agencies like CNN and Fox News, and not do that.