Subway hires Megan Rapinoe as Sandwich Artist after retiring from soccer

In an unexpected turn of events, soccer sensation Megan Rapinoe has found a new calling after what some are calling the “sub-optimal” end to her illustrious soccer career. Subway, always keen to ride the waves of cultural relevance, has announced that Rapinoe will be joining their ranks as a Sandwich Artist, aiming to leverage her unique skills on the football field into the world of footlongs.

The announcement came in the form of a quirky commercial, where Rapinoe, decked out in Subway regalia, kicked a sandwich into a strategically placed goalpost while the crowd cheered half-heartedly. The commercial, entitled “From Corner Kicks to Corned Beef,” marks the beginning of Rapinoe’s post-soccer career as a sandwich maestro.

“I’ve always been passionate about scoring goals, and now I’m excited to bring that same level of passion to crafting the perfect sandwiches,” Rapinoe declared with a smile that seemed to say, “Yes, I know this is absurd, but let’s roll with it.”

Subway’s marketing team appears optimistic about the move, emphasizing the transferable skills Rapinoe brings from her soccer days. “Her precision on the field translates seamlessly to our meticulous sandwich assembly process. Plus, we’re exploring the idea of introducing a new sandwich called the ‘Rapinoe Kick’ – it’s got a real kick to it!”

Critics, however, have raised eyebrows at the unconventional career shift, questioning whether a soccer superstar can successfully transition to the delicate art of sandwich making. “I’ve seen her score some amazing goals, but can she handle the pressure of the lunchtime rush? It’s a different ball game,” remarked one skeptical observer.

In the spirit of unity, Subway is encouraging customers to try the new “Rapinoe Kick” sandwich, which promises to be a fusion of spicy and sweet, much like the twists and turns of a soccer match. Whether this bold move pays off for Subway or becomes a footlong fiasco remains to be seen, but one thing is certain – Megan Rapinoe is determined to show the world that her skills extend beyond the soccer pitch and into the art of sandwich creation.


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