BREAKING: Kamala Harris ‘Seriously Thinking About’ Losing Again in 2028
Washington, D.C. — In a development that has sent mild ripples through the Democratic Party’s already exhausted support base, sources...
Donald Trump
Netanyahu Warns Trump: Vatican City One Month From Nuclear Weapon
Jerusalem – In a late-night phone call that reportedly lasted 47 minutes and included several awkward pauses while aides Googled...
BREAKING: Lindsey Graham Threatens to Jump From Washington Monument Unless U.S. Immediately Resumes Bombing Iran
WASHINGTON—In a scene reminiscent of a budget superhero movie gone wrong, Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) climbed the Washington Monument Tuesday...
BREAKING: Civilizational annihilation put on hold for two weeks
Washington, D.C. — In a dramatic late-night Truth Social announcement that left national security analysts blinking in confusion, President Donald...
Ketanji Jackson argues that since Trump bombed Iran, he’s now an Iranian citizen
WASHINGTON — In a landmark 5-4 decision delivered Monday, Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson held that former President Donald...
Federal Judge Orders Artemis II Crew to Turn Around Mid-Flight, Seek Congressional Approval Before Proceeding to Moon
Houston, TX – In a landmark ruling delivered from the bench via emergency Zoom hearing, U.S. District Judge Hugh Jassole...
Trump Replaces AG Pam Bondi with Literal Gaslight in Bold Cabinet Shake-Up
Washington, D.C. — In a move described by White House officials as “totally normal and definitely not weird,” President Donald...
Iranian President Clarifies: That Whole ‘Death to America’ Was a Misunderstanding; ‘We Really Meant Health to America!’
Tehran, Iran – In a stunning diplomatic pivot that has left international observers reaching for their calendars to confirm it’s...
BREAKING: Trump Cuts Ties with Israel, Ends Hostilities in Iran, Orders Mass Arrests of Epstein Clients
Washington, D.C. – In a stunning Rose Garden announcement Tuesday morning, President Donald J. Trump simultaneously severed diplomatic relations with...
France To Advise Iran On How To Surrender With Dignity
Paris, France — In a bold diplomatic initiative that has left international observers alternately baffled and unsurprised, President Emmanuel Macron...
