Civil Engineers are having a field day the last few weeks. Not so much regular engineers but the the National Association for the Advancement of Any-Color-But-White Civil Engineers, or what has now been renamed the “Floyd Brigoyd”. This non-racial group has been working overtime to rename EVERYTHING. Well, not everything, just things named after white people. Well, not every white person, just racist white people. So yeah, every white person.

Minneapolis, now called Floydville was just the first step. Great Neck Long Island has been renamed “Just Great Thank You Very Much LI.” Somebody going fast will no longer be “going at breakneck speed” but be “hey-take-it-easy- there-buddy challenged.”

Beer will no longer be served in longnecks. Necklaces will now be called ‘Non-ankle Non-wristlets’. However, ‘Rednecks’ will still be called Rednecks for obvious reasons but will still be excluded from the country of CHAZ.

Hipsters will now wear ‘above shoulder warming apparel’ instead of turtlenecks. Really small clams will now be called ‘really small clams’ and not Littlenecks. Marines are now referred to as ‘probably-not-gay-dudes rather than Leathernecks. Neckerchiefs are now to be referred to as “Birxchiefs”.

The only exception to use of the word neckerchief would be the wearing of a Kente cloth. This cloth is a symbol of the Asante people who, interestingly enough, were the foremost black-on-black slave traders in Africa. Seriously folks, you can’t make this stuff up. Sometimes Trump’s campaign spots just write themselves.

We do however have one simple request. Over the next several years as thousands of streets will be renamed George Floyd Ave., these streets must flow in the opposite direction of MLK Boulevards throughout America.

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