Trudeau: ‘These fascist truckers are promoting dangerous ideas like ending fascism’

OTTAWA—Snowy but mostly violent protests continue to erupt throughout Canada as white supremacist truckers of all races hold makeshift signs and sing songs like, “We Shall Overcome,” in front of government buildings.

Authorities have seen fascist slogans like, “All we want is freedom,” “My body, my choice,” “My children deserve to see faces,” and “I’m just following the science.”  A spokesperson from the office of Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, who is currently cowering in an undisclosed location known only to his political allies and members of the legacy media, addressed the fascists on Monday, saying, in a prepared statement, “We pledge to use all the power of government, in cooperation with the levers of business and finance to secure our established power against subversive claims of personal sovereignty.”  

Walking on the front lines of this conflict, one is struck by the disturbing images that frame the narrative of what the militants on the ground characterize only as a “civil protest.”  The so-called “protesters” seem only more threatening, however, against the backdrop of bouncy houses and food booths serving chili, chicken soup, hot chocolate, and coffee.  Such signs of normalcy appear out of place apart from their usual context of unreflective acceptance of the status quo and deference to the government’s authority to issue mandates on every aspect of life and thought.

The sinister sound of children’s laughter can be heard as muffled echoes off the snow-covered ground.  One government official, who spoke on condition of anonymity, out fear of online ridicule, told reporters, “It’s eerie how they chose this symbol of sound-muffling snow to mock the sound-muffling masks they tear off innocent children’s faces every day.  It just goes to show you that it’s not about sound.  It was never about sound.”

Canadian flags and other symbols of hate fly above the crowd of shivering rioters as they warm their hands around their hot beverages and watch as police officers, in a surprising reversal from their usual campaign of racially motivated murder, side with the morally superior white, leftist elites in government to recover fuel from the unarmed insurrectionists promoting racial inequality by demanding the resignation of Canada’s white prime minister who likes to appear in blackface.

Of special concern to authorities is the puzzling behavior of local citizens, who make unsubstantiated claims of having brought the contraband fuel from their own homes specifically to give to the truckers to help them continue their “journey” and to keep them from freezing to death in sub-zero temperatures.  Officials tell us that these claims have no basis in fact and that photographic evidence, credit card receipts, and sworn confessions are notoriously untrustworthy in cases like these.  They warn that news media should report only the facts, not fringe conspiracy theories promoted by citizens whose cars smell of gasoline fumes, especially if such rhetoric could make it appear that the Government is doing something wrong.

Government officials, the legacy media, tech giants like Facebook, and global financiers are cooperating to stop the spread of the truckers’ violent and oppressive laissez faire ideology by arresting its adherents, cutting off their supply of food and fuel, de-platforming them, barring their access to money, and defaming them in the press.

According to government officials, in cases like this, when the threat is fascism, systematic de-personing is ultimately a humanitarian gesture taken in the interest of the public good.  We caught up with Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, who said, “You have to consider the whole community, not just a tiny fringe minority of potentially millions of people enjoying international support.  When such a group stages intellectually violent and racist attacks against the established assumptions about who ought to be in charge of the world and their personal lives, every Canadian is at risk.”

Thankfully, to date, only the insurrectionists have suffered actual injury or property damage, in this violent uprising.  Government officials are quick to point out, however, that the situation is dire, and that force is justified when repelling an attack.

“Under Canadian law,” Trudeau remarked, “words can be considered acts of violence, and the government has a responsibility to defend the innocent against violence of all kinds, whether it be bombs and guns, sticks and stones, or songs and cardboard signage.  Our resolve,” he continued, “will not be broken.  The enemy is at the gate.  But We are Canada, and we will not allow the citizens to take that away from Us.”


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