The Washington Post, whose slogan is Democracy Dies in Darkness, is set to officially endorse Democratic presidential candidate Michael Bloomberg once his $10 million check clears.

“Michael Bloomberg is a great man and he has been uber-supportive of things that are good for democracy not dying, so we are ready to give the big WaPo stamp of approval just as soon as we get the thumbs up from our bank that his funds are in,” Washington Post Executive Editor Martin Baron said.

The endorsement will come shortly after the struggling Post published an editorial stating that Democracy is under threat by wealthy Americans trying to buy the election.

“We’re very happy to learn that the prestigious news organization Washington Post will change its tune and endorse me,” Bloomberg said.

A spokesman for this publication, Genesius Times, stated that we would be fine with half that for an endorsement of Bloomberg—just $5 million. Mr. Bloomberg, you can make an anonymous donation here.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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