Woke virtue signalers get new yard sign

In a stunning display of self-awareness, woke virtue signalers across the nation are rushing to get their hands on the newest addition to their collection of yard signs: the “I was wrong about everything” sign.

The sign, which features bold letters on a background of kaleidoscopic colors, is causing a stir in liberal neighborhoods as neighbors vie to see who can be the most transparent about their past missteps.

“I knew I had to have one of these signs as soon as I saw it,” said Karen Smith, a long-time woke activist from Berkeley, California. “I mean, it’s one thing to admit you were wrong about, say, the environment or race relations. But to be able to admit that you were wrong about everything? That takes real courage.”

The sign, which was designed by a team of millennial graphic designers, has become the must-have accessory for any liberal who wants to prove they are committed to being on the right side of history.

“I put it up in my yard and immediately felt a sense of relief,” said Jason Williams, a 30-year-old yoga instructor from Portland, Oregon. “I mean, who hasn’t been wrong about something? But with this sign, I can finally come clean about all the things I got wrong without feeling ashamed.”

The sign has even caught the attention of some conservatives, who are using it to poke fun at their liberal neighbors.

“I saw one of these signs in my neighbor’s yard and I couldn’t stop laughing,” said Bill Johnson, a Trump supporter from Tulsa, Oklahoma. “I mean, it’s like they’re admitting they were wrong about everything. And they wonder why we don’t take them seriously.”

Despite the backlash, the “I was wrong about everything” sign shows no signs of slowing down in popularity. In fact, woke activists are already brainstorming new ways to one-up each other with even more transparent admissions of past misjudgments.

“It’s a bold move, but it’s also necessary,” said Smith. “If we want to make real progress, we have to be able to admit our mistakes and learn from them. And what better way to do that than with a yard sign?”