You idiots need to wear seatbelts so that my seatbelt will work

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you idiots need to use your seatbelts so that mine will work.

This is science, people!

I am a responsible person. I got my seatbelt. I actually got three. And I sit in a booster chair. But if you don’t wear your seatbelt, like some anti-science luddite, MINE WON’T WORK!

If I get in an accident while wearing my three seatbelts but you don’t have yours on, then I’m going to die. Do you want me to die? Scratch that. Do you want grandma to die? I strapped grandma down with 15 seatbelts so tight she can’t even breathe. That’s the responsible thing to do. But if you don’t wear yours and we get into an accident and she dies. It’s your F’in fault.

If you don’t trust my triple masters degree in Post Feminist Interpretive Dance, Intersectional Beat Boxing, and Trans-species Pansexual Reproduction Art, then maybe you’ll listen to the president of the United States.

The most respected world leader ever said that “we need to protect the people who wear seatbelts from those folks who don’t wear seatbelts.”

Stop killing me by not wearing your seatbelt!

Ugh I hate that I even have to say it it’s so obvious.


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