MTG: NYC earthquake caused by Jewish Space Lasers in retaliation for pro-Palestine protests
WASHINGTON, DC—Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) has claimed that the recent earthquake that struck New York City was caused by...
Year: 2024
Kamala Harris demands the NCAA allow women’s basketball to use baskets this year
In an impassioned speech at a recent press conference, Vice President* Kamala Harris called on the NCAA to finally allow...
BREAKING: Buttigieg claims bridge collapse was hate crime after learning the bridge was gay
WASHINGTON, DC—Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg has made the bold claim that the recent collapse of the Francis Scott Key Bridge...
BREAKING: Wisconsin Gov signs into law allowing minors to chop off their arms if they identify as a T-Rex
MADISON, WI—In an unprecedented move that has sent shockwaves through the political and social landscape, Wisconsin Governor Tony Evers has...
BREAKING: pictures of Michelle Obama pregnant have been discovered
MARTHA'S VINEYARD, MA—In a stunning revelation that has sent shockwaves through the political and social landscape, it has been discovered...
Congress passes “Legitimate President’s Day” celebration for April 1st
WASHINGTON, DC—Congress has officially declared April 1st as "Legitimate President's Day" in honor of Joe Biden's contested election victory. The...
BREAKING: April Fool’s Day cancelled because reality is so ridiculous
US President* Joe Biden has cancelled the national holiday April Fool's Day due to severe competition from the ridiculousness of...
AOC: ‘If we just legalize all crime, then there will be a dramatic drop in crime rates’
As a progressive advocate for change, I believe it's high time we rethink our approach to crime and criminal justice...
BREAKING: Congress works through weekend to finally pass a balanced budget at 3am on April 1st
Congress has managed to pass a balanced budget at 3am on April 1st, thanks to the bipartisan efforts of House...
Biden to hang 6 Easter Bunnies in honor of Trans Visibility Day
WASHINGTON, DC—In a shocking turn of events, President Joe Biden has announced that he will be personally hanging six Easter...
