Photos surface of slave-owners shaving their heads in solidarity after Abraham Lincoln’s 1860 election
In a little-known chapter of American history, slave owners across the nation decided to shave their heads in solidarity after...
Year: 2024
BREAKING: Taylor releases new song: ‘I Picked the Wrong Person… Again’
NASHVILLE—It’s heartbreak season once again for pop superstar Taylor Swift, who, following a recent bout of reflection, has allegedly set...
New Netflix docudrama portrays Trump in a shockingly positive light
Netflix has released a new docudrama about former President Donald Trump that portrays him in a positive light. However. The...
BREAKING: Maricopa County promises to be done counting votes in time for the next election
PHOENIX—Maricopa County election officials have promised that they will be done counting votes for the this election just in time...
4b: We refuse to have sex with people who voted for Trump!
We have made a bold decision: we refuse to have sex with Trump voters. Read 'em and weep, fellas! This...
BREAKING: Arizona to use Common Core math to ensure the ‘right’ candidate wins
PHOENIX, AZ—Election officials in the office of Arizona Secretary of State Katie Hobbs have explained that they are using Common...
Kamala Harris quietly changes pronouns on X to “Has/Been”
WASHINGTON, DC—Vice President Kamala Harris has quietly changed her social media pronouns on the platform X (formerly Twitter) to "Has/Been."...
BREAKING: D.O.G.E. to replace costly Congresspeople with automated tellers
Washington DC—President-elect Donald Trump has announced that the Department of Government Efficiency will replace costly Congresspeople with automated tellers starting...
BREAKING: Trump proposes new border wall after Newsom threatens to ignore federal law
MAR-A-LAGO, FL—President-Elect Donald Trump has proposed building a new border wall that excludes California, following Governor Gavin Newsom's threat to...
BREAKING: Biden calls Mitt Romney to concede election
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has phoned Mitt Romney, the outgoing Republican senator from Utah, to concede defeat in the 2024...
