BREAKING: Arizona to use Common Core math to ensure the ‘right’ candidate wins

PHOENIX, AZ—Election officials in the office of Arizona Secretary of State Katie Hobbs have explained that they are using Common Core math to ensure the right candidate for governor wins: Katie Hobbs.

“The official number we end up with may have be different than the certified election results just because we want to ensure democracy,” Hobbs said in an interview.

Hobbs admitted that she didn’t need to debate her opponent, Kari Lake, because she knew that they were going to use Common Core math to ensure she was elected governor.

“Accuracy is racist when it comes to election math. That’s the beauty of Common Core,” Maricopa County Supervisor Dick Headhole says. “It really comes down to do you want reasonable numbers to get Katie Hobbs elected or do you want actual vote totals that are racist?”

Maricopa defended their use of Common Core math for such a simple process of counting.

“The fact that you have different people getting different vote totals is how you know the process is working. How else are we expected to trust the results if we can’t fudge the numbers?” Headhole added.

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