Gavin Newsom unveils fully-developed ‘totally spontaneous’ plans to rebuild Los Angeles after fires
In a move that has absolutely nothing to do with prior preparation, California Governor Gavin Newsom has unveiled detailed, fully...
Month: January 2025
JUST IN: Tone deaf pilot has gender reveal party in the midst of LA wildfires
In what might be the most tone-deaf move since someone decided to throw a birthday party during the Black Plague,...
Woman who got rich from people burning down cities gets her mansion burnt down by wildfire
In a twist of fate that could only be described as the universe's version of poetic justice, or perhaps just...
BREAKING: LAPD arrest local vigilantes for stopping arsonists setting fires throughout city
LOS ANGELES—The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD) has made headlines not for catching arsonists, but for arresting the very citizens...
BREAKING: California rejects Oregon firefighters after their trucks fail smog check
LOS ANGELES—A battalion of Oregon firefighters, dispatched to aid in the massive California wildfire dubbed "The Charred Palisades," were sent...
Brave LAFD hosts Pride Parade in charred Pacific Palisades neighborhood
LOS ANGELES—In an unprecedented move amidst the smoldering aftermath of the devastating Palisades Fire, the Los Angeles Fire Department (LAFD)...
NEW LISTING! LUXURY CHARRED REMAINS ESTATE IN PACIFIC PALISADES – REDUCED PRICE AT $2.6 MILLION! WON’T LAST
Welcome, visionaries and lovers of avant-garde living, to the epitome of post-modern architecture! Nestled in the heart of Pacific Palisades,...
California Gov Newsom bans wildfires from state
SACRAMENTO—California Governor Gavin Newsom has banned the devastating wildfires wrecking havoc on the state. "We basically saved the planet with...
FEMA unsure which California wildfire victims to help since all political signs have been burnt down
LOS ANGELES—The Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) has found itself in an unprecedented pickle amidst the catastrophic California wildfires. The...
Arsonists blame climate change for making them set dozens of fires in California
Former president Barack Obama and California Governor Gavin Newsom have used their celebrity to condemn global warming for the devastating...
