Ball State Cancels Entire Health Department After Director’s Failed Results
MUNCIE, IN — In a move that has left academics and alumni scratching their heads, Ball State University has abruptly...
Month: September 2025
BREAKING: Congress narrowly avoids being fiscally responsible again
WASHINGTON, DC—In a feat of financial acrobatics that left economists shaking their heads and taxpayers reaching for aspirin, Speaker Mike...
If You Wanted to Silence Jimmy Kimmel, You Should’ve Just Killed Him Like a Normal Person
In these tumultuous times, where the airwaves are a battlefield and late-night comedy is the last bastion of truth (or...
To Avoid Prosecution, Killer’s ‘Furry’ Roomie Agrees To Be Spay & Neutered
SALT LAKE CITY, UT —A self-identified transgender “furry” has agreed to undergo spaying and neutering to avoid prosecution for harboring...
AOC: It’s Not Domestic Terrorism, It’s *Democratic Domestic Terrorism, So It’s OK
US—Listen up, comrades. The corporate media and their billionaire puppet masters are at it again, clutching their pearls over what...
‘The Late Show with Stephen Colbert’ Wins Emmy for Best Talk Series to Be Canceled for Being So Awful
CBS’s The Late Show with Stephen Colbert clinched the Emmy for Best Talk Series at last night’s ceremony, a category...
Trump declines call for unity with demonic commies who want him and all his followers dead
US—President Donald J. Trump has declined to hold hands and sing unity anthems with self-described demonic communists, a group that...
Federal judge overturns the arrest of Charlie Kirk killer: ‘We’re not even sure assassination is against the law anymore’
UTAH—Federal Judge Huga Wokehammer (they/them) overturned the arrest of Tyler Robinson, the suspected shooter in the assassination of conservative firebrand...
Democrats urge the ‘Stupid, inbred, racist, Nazi Republicans’ to tone down the rhetoric
WASHINGTON, DC—In the wake of the shocking assassination of conservative commentator Charlie Kirk, Democratic leaders have issued a heartfelt plea...
BREAKING: Democrats promise to keep killing people until you give up your guns
WASHINGTON, DC—Congressional Democrats have promised to keep killing people until you give up your guns. Former Speaker of the House...
