WASHINGTON, DC—The Federal Bureau of Investigation has been overwhelmed with reports of extremist white supremacists planning to terrorize America on July 4th by “celebrating independence” in peaceful barbecues with friends, an official report states.

“Clearly, white supremacy is the biggest threat to the United States,” FBI Directed Christopher Wray said. “And we’re about to see the fruits of that in massive outdoor cook outs and barbeques across the countries.”

The FBI warns that many millions of other people may be exposed to this extremist behavior by being invited to “knock back some cold ones, fire up the grill, and light some fireworks in honor of our country’s birthday.”

“It’s really a frightening shame that so many people would dare to be so brazen with their white supremacy as to hold so many events across the country,” Wray added. “We were already overwhelmed investigating MAGA grandmas on a self-guided tour of the US Capitol on January 6th, but now we have to contend with this. It’s really almost too much.”

The FBI adds that the white supremacy appears to be spreading as many black Americans appear to be celebrating independence with outdoor barbecues as well.

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