Elizabeth Warren has raised the stakes of the 2020 Democratic presidential nomination process. After Yang has suggested a Universal Basic Income of $1000, Warren has offered to cancel college debt, especially for people who chose utterly worthless degrees.

“We must not punish college students for making absolutely insane economic decisions like going $100,000 in debt for an utterly worthless gender studies degree. We need to cancel debt for justice!” Warren said.

Studies show that millions of people are graduating college with a catastrophic amount of debt and absolutely no job prospects because they made horrible career decisions. Now Elizabeth Warren wants to reward those choices.

“It is a national interest to prop up worthless degrees. If we don’t cancel this debt and cause another economic depression, we will be punishing people for listening to social justice warriors, and we can’t do that!” Warren said.

Warren is promoting her new electoral bribe on a campaign tour and social media blitz.

“People have an inalienable right to spend at least four years in the lap of luxury being indoctrinated by Marxist social theory and we must pay for that by forcefully taking money away from productive members of society. It’s that simple!” Warren concluded.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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