OPINION: Arrest people who cheated to get into college unless they cheated to get into America

Like most Americans, I was appalled to hear of the rich white parents who cheated and bribed their way into colleges. They should be ashamed of themselves—but more than that, they should be arrested!

Instead of college dorms, these kids and their parents should be bunking up in maximum security prison.

It’s horrible what these sleazy 1 percenters did. It’s almost as bad as the holocaust!

Of course, cheating to get into college is fine, as the highly esteemed Senator Elizabeth Warren has said if you’re a minority or a fake Native American or especially if you’re an undocumented immigrant and you’re getting free education from a society you despise.

In that case, cheating is just fine. It’s basically not okay when you’re white and wealthy. Because justice and equity!

It’s 2019 people!

We must arrest people who cheated to get into college unless they cheated to get into America, in which case we should pay for their education whether they deserve it or not.