WASHINGTON, DC—The Bidens introduced the newest resident of The White House: a dog gifted to the First Family by President Xi of China.

“President Xi assured me this is a loyal dog and I can take him everywhere,” former Vice President Biden told reporters. “He’s with me in the private residence, the Oval Office and even Air Force One.”

Press Secretary Jen Psaki speculated the dog is a shih tzu. Others claim the dog is actually an FJB-5000: a man-made creation built in a lab in Wuhan, China.

Mr. Biden told the press the dog does not interfere with his daily responsibilities as acting President. He maintains his busy schedule of eating ice cream and occasionally giving speeches before sundown.

Update: The dog still has not bitten anyone, setting a new administration record.

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Richie Richards

Very stable genius, Richie Richards, is a writer, illustrator and fake news journalist. Check out Bowie Bee Learns About Democracy, the latest in his Bowie Bee children’s series.

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