WASHINGTON, DC—Outgoing NIAID Director Anthony Fauci weighed in on potential life-threatening conditions this winter and encouraged every American to “wear three coats this winter so the person next to you doesn’t freeze to death.”

Despite rumors that Fauci has been taken out of the spotlight because everything he recommended during his entire career was wrong, he is still offering recommendations.

“It’s just simple common sense to wear two coats during the winter so that other people don’t freeze their tuchases off,” Fauci said in an exclusive interview with Genesius Times.

Fauci is continuing to make recommendations even if no one is listening to them.

“You have to understand that the people aren’t capable of understanding the nuance of medicine. I certainly am. So, you need to listen to me because that means you’re listening to science,” Fauci said.

Fauci has also recommended two bathing suits so people can pee in the pool.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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