CHICAGO—Mayor Brandon Johnson recently stepped into the world of mobile gaming, leaving behind the political battlegrounds of the Windy City to audition for the next installment of the wildly popular franchise, “Angry Birds.” The unexpected career move has sent shockwaves through Chicago, with residents wondering if their mayor’s new calling involves more squawking than legislating.

The audition, held in a secret location with only a handful of pigeons as witnesses, showcased Mayor Johnson’s newfound passion for avian expression. Dressed in a custom-made Angry Birds costume, complete with feathers and a beak, the mayor delivered a performance that can only be described as, well, angry.

City insiders reveal that Johnson, in preparation for his audition, spent hours perfecting the art of irate squawking and practicing his aim with a makeshift slingshot. Reports suggest that the mayor’s rendition of the iconic “swoosh” sound was so convincing that even the nearby pigeons were taken aback.

Mayor Johnson’s press secretary attempted to downplay the audition, stating, “Mayor Johnson believes in diversifying his skills. Whether it’s navigating the complexities of city governance or catapulting himself into a new career in mobile gaming, he’s a man of many talents.”

However, critics argue that perhaps the mayor should focus on more pressing matters, like addressing the city’s crime rates and economic challenges. In response, Johnson’s office released a statement claiming that his Angry Birds audition is part of a comprehensive strategy to combat urban stress and bring a touch of levity to City Hall.

The gaming industry, ever eager for fresh talent, has not yet responded to Mayor Johnson’s audition. Nevertheless, the mayor remains undeterred, stating, “If this Angry Birds thing doesn’t work out, I’m considering auditioning for ‘Flappy Bird.’ I’ve got the flapping part down pat.”

As Chicagoans await the verdict on their mayor’s avian aspirations, one thing is certain: Mayor Brandon Johnson’s career trajectory has taken an unexpected flight into the whimsical world of feathered fury. The city holds its breath, wondering if Angry Birds may soon find a new, irate leader in Mayor Johnson.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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