BREAKING: Pilot of drone that accidentally killed 3 American service members identified
WASHINGTON, DC—The pilot of the drone that accidentally killed three American service men in Jordan has been identified as President* Joe Biden, known for his love of ice cream and driving skills. The revelation came to light when a routine drone operation went awry, resulting in the accidental demise of three American service members.
The incident, now dubbed “Drone-Gate,” occurred in the remote mountains, far from the prying eyes of the public and media. Initial reports suggested a tragic malfunction, but our investigative team uncovered a plot twist of cinematic proportions – the drone’s operator was none other than President Biden himself.
Imagine, if you will, the leader of the free world donning aviator sunglasses and operating a joystick with the finesse of a seasoned gamer. “I thought I was ordering lunch,” Biden allegedly exclaimed, defending his accidental drone pilot killings.
The classified video footage, leaked by an anonymous White House intern, shows Biden navigating the drone through treacherous terrain while humming the theme from “Top Gun.” The unintentional strike left officials scrambling for an explanation, prompting Biden to claim, “I was just trying to find a good spot for a picnic.”
As the news broke, political pundits were left bewildered. Is Biden a closeted drone enthusiast, or did he mistake the joystick for a TV remote? Theories abound, but one thing is certain – the President’s drone escapade has given a whole new meaning to the term “executive order.”
In a press conference that left journalists scratching their heads, Press Secretary Jen Psaki remarked, “The President’s drone activities are a display of his multitasking skills. Who knew he could run a country and fly a drone simultaneously?”
While the families of the fallen service members await an explanation, the nation grapples with the surreal reality that their Commander-in-Chief moonlights as a drone pilot. Only time will tell if this revelation will impact the President’s approval ratings or if, perhaps, drone flying competitions will become the newest White House pastime.
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