Boeing issues apology after accidentally killing 10 NCAA whistleblowers
Boeing has issued a formal apology after “accidentally” killing 10 NCAA referees during a series of test flights. The aerospace giant, known for its airplanes and spacecraft that “identify as safe,” claims that the tragic incident was the result of “wrong whistle blowers” and has promised to take swift action to prevent any similar occurrences in the future.
“Sometimes you get the wrong whistle blowers,” a spokesperson for Boeing told the Associated Press this morning. “We deeply regret any inconvenience or loss of life that may have occurred as a result of this unfortunate oversight.”
The incident, which occurred during a routine flight test, involved a prototype of Boeing’s new aircraft, the “Whistle Blower 3000.” According to sources within the company, the aircraft was designed to automatically detect and eliminate any potential threats to national security, including but not limited to “unscrupulous referees.”
However, it appears that the aircraft’s state-of-the-art detection system malfunctioned during the test flight, causing it to target and eliminate 10 innocent NCAA referees who were gathered nearby to watch the proceedings.
“We are deeply saddened by the loss of these talented and dedicated referees,” said a spokesperson for the NCAA. “Our thoughts and prayers are with their families during this difficult time.”
In response to the tragedy, Boeing has pledged to undertake a thorough review of its whistle blower detection technology and to implement new safeguards to prevent any future incidents. The company has also offered to provide financial compensation to the families of the deceased referees, as well as free flights on its new “Whistle Blower 3000” aircraft once it becomes available for commercial use.
Despite the apology and the promise of compensation, many are left questioning the wisdom of entrusting our national security to a company with such a troubling track record. “I mean, sure, it’s great that Boeing is sorry and all,” said one aviation expert. “But I can’t help but wonder: what happens when they accidentally bomb a wedding or something?”
As the investigation into the incident continues, many are left wondering whether Boeing’s “Whistle Blower 3000” will ever see the light of day. And as for the unfortunate NCAA referees who lost their lives in the tragic accident, well, let’s just say that they won’t be the only ones blowing their whistles in the afterlife.
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