JUST IN: Unbiased Merchan Jury Instruction: “Ignore Anything That Helps Trump”
NEW YORK—In a groundbreaking move that has left the legal world reeling, New York Judge Juan Merchan has issued a set of jury instructions that have raised more than a few eyebrows. The instructions, which have been described as “unusually biased” by some, have left many wondering if the rule of law still applies to the Republican party.
In a shocking turn of events, the instructions issued by Judge Merchan contained the following directive: “Please ignore anything that might help Trump.” This bold statement has left many legal experts scratching their heads, wondering if the good judge has taken a leaf out of the book of the infamous Judge Judy.
“It’s a new low for the judiciary,” said renowned attorney and commentator, Jeff Toobin. “I’ve never seen jury instructions that explicitly tell the jury to ignore anything that can help Trump. It seems a little biased – even to me.”
Toobin, who was seen wiping his hands after a particularly intense “whack session,” went on to add, “I can see where Merchan is coming from because Trump is a Republican and the rule of law obviously doesn’t apply.”
The instructions have not only left Toobin feeling hot under the collar but have also raised concerns among legal scholars and politicians alike. Some have questioned whether the judge’s actions are a sign of a deeper rot within the judiciary, while others have pointed out that this is just another example of the ongoing war against the Republican party.
In an unexpected twist, the interview with Toobin was cut short when he caught sight of Stephanie Ruhle in a low-cut blouse. The reporter, known for her sensational attire, had inadvertently derailed the entire discussion, leaving viewers with more questions than answers.
As the dust settles on this latest controversy, one thing is clear: Judge Juan Merchan’s instructions have left an indelible mark on the legal world, and the implications of his actions will be felt for years to come.
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