In a bold move that is raising both eyebrows and awareness, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz has announced that he will be using Tampax Pearl Super Plus tampons during tonight’s debate against JD Vance. Walz, known for his progressive stances and creative campaign strategies, explained that his choice to publicly embrace tampons is part of a broader effort to break gender boundaries in politics — and in product choices.

“I just want to be comfortable up there, and nothing says comfort and reliability like Tampax Pearl Super Plus,” Walz said during a pre-debate press conference. “I mean, if you’re going to be on stage for two hours answering tough questions, you need a product you can trust to handle the pressure.”

While many assumed his comment was metaphorical, Walz’s campaign quickly confirmed that the governor was being quite literal. “Tim has always been an advocate for women’s rights, but this is next-level commitment,” said campaign manager Bloomi Absurd. “He’s just trying to show voters that he’s a man of the people — all people. Whether they’re concerned about inflation or absorption rates, Tim gets it.”

JD Vance, upon hearing the news, was reportedly speechless for several moments before finally managing a response: “I’m not sure what to make of this. I guess this is one way to absorb attention in a debate, but I’ll be sticking to traditional debate prep.”

Walz, however, seems unfazed by the skepticism. “This is about more than comfort,” he stated. “This is about standing in solidarity with menstruators everywhere. And also, these debates can get pretty intense — Super Plus just gives me that extra confidence.”

Social media, naturally, exploded following Walz’s revelation. Twitter users were divided between applause for the governor’s “courageous” stance and confusion over his attempt to relate to voters through menstrual products.

“Honestly, I’m just here for the representation,” tweeted one enthusiastic supporter. “Finally, a politician who understands the struggles of women — or at least tries really hard to.”

Not one to miss an opportunity, Tampax themselves quickly chimed in, issuing a statement that read: “We applaud Governor Walz for his commitment to absorbency and equality. Remember, for those extra long debates — Tampax Pearl Super Plus.”

As the debate approaches, all eyes will be on Tim Walz to see how his performance — and his tampon of choice — hold up under pressure. Whether this move pays off at the polls remains to be seen, but one thing is certain: Walz is willing to go to great lengths to make sure his campaign doesn’t, well, leak support.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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