CNN: The attacker was not a white MAGA Christian male so we’re not going to report on it
ATLANTA—In a stunning display of journalistic efficiency, CNN announced today that it would immediately cease coverage of a breaking news story after determining the suspect in question does not fit the profile of a white Christian MAGA male. The network, known for its rigorous commitment to narrative consistency, cited a lack of “relevant demographic alignment” as the reason for pulling the plug.
“We regret to inform our viewers that the individual involved in this incident does not meet the specific criteria required for sustained coverage,” said anchor Don Lemonade, visibly disappointed, during a brief statement. “Without a white Christian MAGA male suspect, we simply don’t have the framework to proceed. Our thoughts are with our producers at this difficult time.”
About Author
