BREAKING: Mormon God to impeach Mitt Romney
We all now know Senator Mitt Romney will vote to impeach President Trump claiming “It’s between him and his God.”
In fairness to God and in the name of Social Justice and equality, our Religion reporter, Myway O. Yahweh, who also has a special relationship with his God, has received a ‘Revelation’.
At exactly Midnight, Tuesday, Nov. 3rd, 2020, Romney is himself to be Impeached, only not by the Senate but by the Mormon God himself. A special chariot is to be dispatched from Salt Lake City landing at Dulles International, weather permitting. In addition, a scheduled stop in Vegas is planned should chariot traffic be heavy.
From Dulles, Romney will be accompanied by the entire Mormon Tabernacle Choir (the chariot will be the special Boeing 737 Max chariot, stretch version, hopefully back in service by then). Romney will be taken directly to Jello Mountain, a favorite LDS dessert, and favorite drop off point for the Clintons.
At the very peak of Jello Mountain, Romney is set to meet Joseph Smith and his 312 wives where he will be judged (Smith has over 500 wives but some will be out shopping at the 24- hour Walmart). Rumor has it that Smith “is no fan”, “loves the Trumpster”, wears a MAGA hat, and will likely relegate Romney to spend eternity with Jeffrey Epstein, and eventually Adam Schiff.
“Final Sacrament” may be offered by John McCain, to the tune of “Midnight Train to Georgia”, but McCain was overheard saying, “Look, this guy’s a real scumbag. No friggin’ way am I gettin’ involved. Get Ryan after he croaks.” Should plans change, GT will be right there to update our loyal followers.
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