If I only had a brain, Bernie Sanders’s campaign aides are reporting, has been on the lips of the octogenarian candidate for president who dodged a real bullet the other day with sudden heart surgery.

“It came as a surprise to Comrade Bernie that he needed heart surgery, he always fashioned himself a little more like the Tin Man, the one without a heart.” This account is according to an anonymous campaign aide for Bernie 2020.

For what it is worth, Sanders has taken the news in stride by embracing the role of the kind but stupid Wizard of Oz character, the Scare Crow. And this young journalist agrees with Bernie’s demeanor is more along the lines of the kind and brainless type. I never thought of him as the mechanical and heartless guy who’s prone to rust from his own tears.

In either case Comrade Bernie is healing just fine from his heart surgery, and gleefully embracing the persona of the Scarecrow. If you thought his previous policy prescriptions were dumb before, just wait until you see what he cranks out now that he knows he has no brain!

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Earnest O'Connor

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