Socialist Valentines with AOC and Bernie Sanders
The creative art director at the Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez staff has been working like an unpaid Democratic staffer in preparation for...
Bernie Sanders
BREAKING: People who want to tax cow farts are upset about Trump’s tariffs
WASHINGTON, DC—Green New Deal Democrats are reportedly fuming over President Trump’s latest tariff announcements—not because of trade imbalances or economic...
Buy Bernie’s new book ‘How to Get Filthy Rich Fighting Income Inequality’
Democratic Socialist Bernie Sanders is on a roll. After making a name for himself decrying capitalism and fighting the super-rich,...
BREAKING: Anti-war Democrats furious at Trump for attempting to end two wars
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Anti-war Democrats including Senator Bernie Sanders are furious that President Trump wants to end two wars. The unexpected peace...
BREAKING: Biden offers free healthcare and $6k a month to aliens invading New Jersey in drones
Biden offers free healthcare and $6000 a month to all the aliens invading new Jersey in drones TRENTON, NJ—President* Joe...
BREAKING: Elon Musk becomes the first person on earth with enough wealth to fund the federal government for more than 5 minutes
WASHINGTON, DC—Billionaire Elon Musk has officially reached a level of wealth where he could, theoretically, fund the operations of the...
Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government
NEW YORK — A piece of conceptual art consisting of a simple banana, duct-taped to a wall, sold for $6.2...
Elizabeth Warren takes 1/1024th of the day off to celebrate Indigenous People’s Day
Most people are aware that Sen. Elizabeth Warren, front runner for the 2020 Democratic nomination for president, is a true...
Bernie Sanders spotted sprinting back and forth between his 3 mansions so the squatters he advocates for don’t move in
VERMONT—Senator Bernie Sanders was spotted engaging in a rigorous exercise routine, sprinting back and forth between his three luxurious mansions....
Amid skyrocketing inflation, White House recommends Americans ‘stop being so poor’
WASHINGTON, DC—Amid record skyrocketing inflation, White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre suggested a few things to help them through the...
