SEATTLE—Members of the Seattle Antifa Communist Koalition (SACK) are finding that it’s much more difficult to build a civilization than to tear one down after their experiment in the Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone has hit several setbacks.

Already, the so-called “free zone” has constrained speech, extorted local businesses, and become a bastion of sexual assault.

And after their sprawling garden has seen several plants die within hours of “planting”, residents of the “autonomous zone” are asking for aid from their parents to keep them “self-sustaining”.

“We’re all about unity here,” the warlord Raz Simone shouted in a microphone. “And that means who ever is against us is kicked out.”

The pop-up communist utopia has seen several altercations between comrades and was forced to set up a gulag in order to keep the peace in this wonderful land without police.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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