I’d Rather Have Global Thermonuclear War Than World Peace Orchestrated by Trump
As the most intersectionally progressive being on this overheating, colonialist rock we call Earth—a transwoman valiantly trapped in the body...
Mx. Sandra Chou, PhD. PhD.
(she/they/grrrl) Mx. Chou is the most intersectionally progressive person in the world—a transwoman trapped inside the body of a transman. Grrrl only eats fruit that has fallen off the vine and identifies as a paraplegic polar bear.
If You Wanted to Silence Jimmy Kimmel, You Should’ve Just Killed Him Like a Normal Person
In these tumultuous times, where the airwaves are a battlefield and late-night comedy is the last bastion of truth (or...
My spoon killed another 2 gallons of ice cream last night; it’s time for common sense spoon control
This morning, I was devastated to find out that my spoon ate another 2 gallons of ice cream last night....
If you don’t want to be raped or murdered in your city, you’re probably a Nazi
In these perilous times, when the siren song of “safety” lures the unwary toward authoritarianism, a chilling trend has emerged:...
EXCLUSIVE: Interview with Jerry Mander, the Ingenious Inventor of Gerrymandering
In a dusty, map-cluttered shack reeking of hubris and stale whiskey, Genesius Times nabbed an exclusive with Jerry Mander, the...
Electric vehicle fires on Chinese cargo ships are proof that we’re doing the right thing for the environment
Dear eco-champions, green dreamers, and lovers of a good fiery spectacle, rejoice! The catastrophic Morning Midas disaster— that glorious blaze...
Hey RFK Jr., Hands Off! Why Poison in Our Food Is Actually Good
Listen up, America, because I’ve got a PhD in PhDs and a bone to pick with the anti-poison hysterics—namely, Robert...
If you don’t want your plane to explode and flip over on landing, you may be a sexist racist bigot
It's 2025, and we're still grappling with what it means to be 'woke' on a global scale, but nowhere is...
Trump is cutting government power and waste: LITERALLY HITLER!
In an era where the very fabric of our society is being unraveled by the threads of efficiency, one man...
Farewell, X: Why I’m Leaving Over Their Refusal to Censor Me
When I first joined X (formerly Twitter), it was a safe haven for people like me—progressive, open-minded, and wholly committed...
